When Social Anxiety Creeps In My Online Class

            At first, I was anxious to meet my new instructor on Information Management 1. I didn't know who she was or how she treats her students. I was worried that I would get so nervous and won't do well in her class but when Ms. Sanchez introduced herself in the class, it was kind of a relief. She seems nice and the way she talks is just so calm that it sounds like she's understanding and approachable. On our first class, she reiterated the proper netiquettes so that we would be reminded on how we should behave in online class. I met a lot of professors who were too scary to even talk to but Ms. Sanchez looks kind so it's comforting to have a teacher you can easily talk to about your personal concerns.

            Then came the introductions, one-by-one we were asked to--of course--introduce ourselves. It has been a month since vacation, I was always in my bedroom enjoying my own company so when I was asked to talk my hands started shaking, my legs were bouncing as I bite my lower lip. My social anxiety started creeping in, it was kind of embarrassing to say but I even wrote down what I should say in a piece of paper but when my turn came I went blank. I was not able to remember to read what I wrote. It was easy though. To tell my name, age, where I live, what my hobbies are, sports I play. It was easy to say those things but all I could mutter was my name and a few of those words I wrote on my paper. Once again, I felt like I was a disappointment. An eighteen-year-old college student who can't even socialize with people. 

            I was afraid. Scared of what people might think of me so I was always careful to the words that comes out of my mouth. I don't want people to think of me as that "weird" kid. Because growing up, I had little to no friends. All the friends I have approached me first. I don't know what's wrong with me though. Maybe I'm just not a "people" person. 

            When the class came to an end, I told myself "do better next time you talk". And I couldn't help but contemplate about why I suck at talking to people. Perhaps, that is why I'm jotting it down now. To write about these adversities I encounter when socializing with people. And somehow it kind of helps transfer all the worries in this blog post. And this is my experience on my first class in Information Management 1.